It’s no secret if you live with someone there will be conflict. Remember your college roommate? No matter how close you are with someone you will find differences. Sometimes those differences create conflict. You can often change who your roommate is unless your roommate is your spouse. How do you resolve conflict while cohabitating? “Meet in the middle” is advice we often hear, but how do we stand to be together while we work our way to the middle?
My husband and I were wed August of 2014. After a couple months of marriage I found myself experiencing a blood curdling rage towards him. Neither of us were budging, and I didn’t see how I could feel fondness toward him ever again. Eventually, we did meet in the middle but it didn’t happen overnight. What we chose to do while working through our conflict could of either made or break our relationship.
There is a difference between liking each other and loving each other. You don’t always have to like, but you do always have to love. Your spouse is your own flesh and you are bond together until death. That’s what you promise to each other in your vows. Sometimes you don’t like yourself, but you can’t go on hating yourself. Sometimes you don’t like your spouse, but you can’t go on hating your spouse. If you think of your spouse as an extension of yourself, odds are you’re going to be more careful with your words, thoughts, and actions towards them.
I don’t expect everything to be merry and bright while working through conflict. You have to make the conscious choice to love. Sometimes love is a hard choice to make.
Rainbows, Butterflies, and Lightning.
I’m two months in with forever to go. They said it wouldn’t be easy. They said it would take work. They said it would be worth it. I talked with my 90 yr old Grandpa on the phone today who said, “When he does something that’s not right, don’t cook for him.”
So, tonight I didn’t cook for him.
It’s strange how you can go to the fuzzy love feeling, to the blood boiling hate, back to the fuzzy love feeling all within one day.
Sometimes you have to make the decision to love. It won’t always come easy, but you have to make up your mind to love them.
Today, I may not like him,
but I love him.